


It all started with a droid

by ReyErso5280



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Weekly Challenges, Star Wars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 03:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14583747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyErso5280/pseuds/ReyErso5280
Summary: Devastated by his master's disappointment in him and the brutal death of his mother, Kylo Ren has a private moment of reflection and just how much all his troubles started with droids





	It all started with a droid

**Author's Note:**

> Taking place after Snokes mental teardown of Kylo Ren but before a certain force skype session. There is also some spoilers for the books "bloodline" and "last shot"

Loud clambering of heeled boots echoed down the corridor of the officers quarters. Every body stiffened to a painful attention as Kylo Ren walked past members of the supremacy’s crew. They all feared him, “the Jedi Killer” known for his terrible outbursts, knowing he was the descendent of Darth Vader. They didn’t dare question or stand up to him. Only General Hux seemed to test the Master of the Knights of Ren on a few occasions. Like a predator testing a holding cell for weaknesses. But they couldn’t help but stare in wonder, his mask was gone, and he looked so…young. No one had really seen Kylo Ren unmasked before, again only Hux on a rare occasion.

Fists clenched and walking at a faster pace than usual, Kylo Ren could only hear a slight ringing in his ears. Feeling the curious eyes and thoughts falling upon him his heart pounded in his chest. Lips started to tingle from the breath he was holding while counting the steps to his quarters, his solitude.

Trying to keep his composure from the staring gazes Kylo did all he could not to thrown himself against his quarter door as fingers fumbled on the key pad to unlock it. Barely able to remember the combination, after a few failed attempts the door hissed open and Kylo leaped into the room, door locking behind him.

Various droids immediately rushed to his aid. _Droids_ Kylo thought with such contempt. Thats all his life had been surrounded by, all his troubles started with droids. Droids that taught him lessons, played his favourite shows as a child, cooked his meals. Protocol Droid T-2LC that basically raised him because his parents were to self involved in their own crusades to take care of him. He wasn’t important enough. Droids, that he was almost sure, tried to kill him in his sleep. It wasn’t as clear as when his Uncle tried to kill him, but Kylo Ren was positive their culinary droid BX-778 on Chandrilla had a knife out ready to kill him when he was a toddler. The only good thing that droid ever did was _coagulating the finest Endorian caf beans_ for his morning drink he enjoyed as a teen.

Viciously throwing his arm in the air Kylo shooed the pests away, he needed space to think, to process everything. Two weeks ago his world was in perfect order then it all started with a droid. A BB unit with a map to Skywalker. The uncle who betrayed him. And a girl, the scavenger, who somehow convinced the droid to show her the map to his enemy, the key to killing everything he knew so he could become what he ultimately desired.

 _The girl_ …Kylo’s lip turned up to one side with a mix of scorn but fascination. The room temperature seemed to rise and he grew tired of his knight armour and just wanted to wash the day way in his fresher. First he removed the belt and let the cumbersome thing fall to the ground, moving his surcoat over his head. The smell of burnt fabric and flesh filled his nostrils immediately reminding him of his punishment from Snoke.

Kylo was growing desperate, all he wanted was to give all he had to the dark side and even that wasn't enough. He wasn’t enough for the wise supreme leader and in a moment of instinct he did something he never thought possible…he stood up for himself. But alas the supreme leader was right…he was just a child in a mask. A child that once belonged to Han Solo and Leia, they called him a different name, Ben.

Ben closed his eyes and forced his throat to swallow the emotion that was building in him. Pulling off his gloves he took a moment to stare at his hands. The same hands that killed his father, giving all he had to the dark side, but he lied and Snoke knew it. He _did_ hesitate and the deed _did_ in fact spilt his spirit to the bone. The moment he watched his fathers body fall into oblivion he wanted to feel complete, yet nothing happened. All he heard was the screams of a girl and a solid blast to the side from a Bowcaster.

Kylo stroked his left side through his under tunic. Did Snoke not realise that he was instinctively containing its energy with the force? Of course he did and once again was disappointed that Kylo Ren wasn’t strong enough like Darth Vader and do a simple deed and defeat the girl who never held a lightsaber. Snokes words echoed in Ben’s head, then another voice entered his mind.

“You…you’re afraid? You’re afraid you will never be as powerful as Darth Vader” Ben’s eyes shot open and he looked across his quarters. It felt like she was standing right in front of him again, it felt real. Sealing his eyes shut again and Ben saw his father, the look in his eyes of shock and sadness as the crimson crackling blade ripped through his father’s chest.A single tear started to escape Bens eyes and he tried to shut them tighter cursing the rogue feeling that was now streaking down his cheek. The same cheek that his father caressed before he died, a touch that Ben desperately wanted his whole life was now no longer to be.

Humming started to fill his head from a gentle song his mother would sing to him, especially when he couldn’t sleep. The protocol droid would try to replicate it, even with a recording of Leia singing it wasn’t the same. His mother, now even more tears fell down his face. She too was gone, mere hours ago. Not wanting to give in to his anguish Ben lifted his under tunic but the cumbersome fabric caught his crude field dressing on his face and ripped the still raw flesh underneath.

It tipped the scales and crumbled Ben’s already shaky composure. No longer able to hold in all the rage the young knight ripped at his tunic throwing the tattered fabric on the floor. He looked around the room at anything to throw and destroy, something to focus his anger at but all he could see what a calligraphy set. It wasn’t the same one, but its the only personal possession Ben ever asked for. His love for all things old, including writing by hand had always been with him. A Skill that came in handy when he warned his mother about an upcoming threat when the Amaxine warriors bombed a conference building of the New Republic's Galactic Senate on Hosnian Prime. The Amaxines acted on the orders of Lady Carise Sindian. Ben had heard of the plot and had to do something, he sensed it and rushed in secret to her aid.

All he could do was write a simple note that read “Run”. But that wasn’t enough, he still couldn’t save her tonight. A deep guttural roar escaped his chest as he slammed his hands on the writing desk, swiping the ancient writing elements on the floor. Defeated Ben covered his face in shame as a sob struggled to escape his body.

Moments passed and Ben slowly moved his hands from his face remembering the holomessage he received the day before he destroyed the temple. It was from his mother and in the chaos of Luke’s betrayal he never listened to it, but something told him to hold on to it. Maybe he secretly wanted it to be a warning about his treacherous uncle. But now it was a way to remember her voice, her face, her smile.

Punching in some commands on the data pad he pulled up his private files and pressed the message. Immediately his heart leapt into his throat as the head and shoulders of his mother was close to his own face. Fighting the urge to reach out and touch her as if the blue hologram was real.But something wasn’t right, her face was absent of the glow he always remembered, that light of hope in her eyes that never faded even when she comforted him after his force outbreaks. He saw the fear in his father’s eyes a few time when he was a teenager, thats why it was easy for him to leave, he was as coward. But not her, she always looked at him with hope. But that look of hope was gone here, what changed?

Taking a deep breath Ben listened

_“My dearest Ben. I wish my message was just simple well wishes and salutations but there is a terrible truth that I must tell you, and you need to hear it from me.” She paused and swallowed hard._

_“There is never a text in this universe that prepares you to be a parent. Sure you can listen to parents who have done it in the past or take note from your own parents asking them how they did it. But that is a luxury your father and I didn’t have. He never had parents that he could remember and mine were brutally killed by Darth Vader and the Empire when the Death Star destroyed my planet of Alderaan.”_

Ben adjusted in his seat, he knew of his powerful and mighty Grandfather was Darth Vader, and was the reason he was Kylo Ren. Snoke had informed him the true nature of his bloodline, even though he heard the rumours in his fleeing from Lukes temple, but Snokes confirmation solidified that this was his destiny, his true calling. To finish what his grandfather couldn’t, absolutes order in the Galaxy. But this revelation of his grandfather killing his mothers parents confused him.

As if the holomessage could read his thoughts it continued.

_“I grew up thinking my mother and father were my own, that I was a princess of Alderaan. It wasn’t until the night before the Battle of Endor in a small Ewok village I found out that one of my dearest friends was actually my twin brother and much more our father was in fact one of the most feared being in the Galaxy. What was also revealed to me was that I too had force powers”_

Every muscle tensed in Ben’s body, his mother could use the force? Why didn’t she tell him?

_“Some how I knew this, that I had always known something was there. Most importantly I felt it with you. Before you were even born I felt such powerful light surging through you but also a vein of dark as well. Ben you have always had darkness surround you, I have not been able to find out who or why but I can only imagine because you are destined for great things, Like your uncle, and yes like your grandfather. Ben I’m sorry my greatest failure is in not telling you the truth about our family sooner. I never knew how to bring it up, these were times I wish I had your fathers wit. He always knows how to ease a situation with that scoundrel way about him”_

Hearing his mother speak about his father in the present tense and with a warm tone in her voice was starting to tear his heart in two. A pressure started to build in his throat again as he could feel a wave of emotions build in the pit of his stomach

_“Ben Darth Vader is your Grandfather but there is much more than the evil moniker, before he was Anakin Skywalker, who found redemption with his Son Luke and brought balance to the Galaxy. Even in the darkest places when all hope is lost, all you need is that one person to believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. When you find that person my son, you hold on to it, you hold on and never let go. There is nothing more precious than that in this entire galaxy. I know there are times you are scared about your powers, that you feel like you’re a monster, but that is why we sent you with Luke, to help. But please know that I will always believe in you and I love you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person but I wanted you to know sooner rather than later. Tell Luke that you two need to come home for a visit. We miss you.”_

A large gasp of air left Ben’s lungs releasing subconsciously he was holding a staggered breath the entire duration of the message. For the second time that night his whole world had been torn apart. First his master who devoted everything cast him aside just like his own family did, or so he thought. Now this message only to find out that his parents did care for him and he could no longer find the hate for them. All he could do was stare at the still frame of the holomessage from his mother remembering her features as he knew she was never coming back. Her body brutally sucked out into space from one of his tie fighters beside him when he couldn’t pull the trigger himself. Because he sensed her, and she wasn’t angry or disappointed, she was sad. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Ben’s attention was broken by a beeping of an incoming request from the medbay. A request by the medical droids to do another session on his wound. _Doids…again…_

Immediately he felt his thoughts go back to her, the scavenger. He felt her name on his lips but he dared not to speak it out loud. _Why did she spare him?_ She could have easily killed him before the planet literally tore them apart, she had the upper hand to deliver the finishing blow. _Did she enjoy toying with him, or was it pity?_

Walking to his wardrobe Ben grabbed a new under tunic, pulling it swiftly over his head, the proceeded to pick up the surcoat off the floor. It was time to be the one thing he knew, to be Kylo Ren. Adjusting his belt he gathered his composure and walked into the corridor. This time it was abandoned as it was late in the night and most were taking care of their nightly routines. Kylo continued his way into the medical bay.

The smell of bacta gels filled the air as he entered the medical bay, making his way to the procedure chair. Once again droids filled the room with incessant beeps and chattering, documenting various diagnostics. Kylo knew the scar would last him the rest of his life, a fitting end in his transformation into the monster he truly was. The message from his mother played over and over in his head recounting her words

_all you need is that one person to believe in you… find that person my son… hold on to it and never let go._

But who could ever believe in him? His own master only saw his failures, he was truly alone. Lost in his own thoughts a strange sensation came over him. Body tensing into his defensive mode he swiped at the medical droid that had been repairing his damaged face. A pressure built in the room and the sounds of beeping and droid chatter left the room. All that was left was a stillness, a frozen moment and there she was.

Ben shifted his weight as a fright came over him, was he imagining her? Her face was highlighted by a morning glow, rubbing her eyes as if she was just awaken at dawn. But why? Questions filled his head as he focused on her. She was stirring as if she felt his presence, and unease filled her body as she looked around the room, and then it happened. She looked back at him.

a warm flush came over and all Ben could hear was his own breath, and more importantly hers! Could she see him? As if by reflex Rey grabbed her blaster disengaged the safety and without thinking shot right at him. Ben could only flinch again preparing to accept a second blaster bolt to the torso.

The sound of the blaster echoed in the medical bay and he frantically checked his body, but there was nothing?! Looking up he saw her silhouette move in and out through the walls of the Supremacy. With out thinking he chased after her, he wanted to know more, he wanted to know why this was happening. He felt like a school boy chasing after a frightened animal that he didn’t want to hurt, he just wanted to take a closer look as he slid across the floor nearly kicking a MSE-6 droid in the process.

Rey felt his presence again as the island huts started to disappear and all she could see was him. Testing this strange mirage in the force Kylo reached out trying to control her.

“You will bring Luke Skywalker to me” but to no avail nothing, she just stared at him with hatred in her eyes. Impressed that she was not afraid of him, ready to accept what ever her fate was. But Ben had never seen this before. Embarrassed by his failed attempt he slowly retracted his outstretched arm and changed his approach.

“You’re not doing this…the effort would kill you…” he looked around studying the strange connection further. “can you seem my surroundings?” He looked back at her studying her further. Finally she spoke with such hatred in her voice

“you’re going to pay for what you did!” Ben ignored her empty threats and continued his investigation. “I can’t see yours…just you…no this is something else” suddenly a sound bled through and he felt a new presence. He saw her look behind in a state of panic. Ben remembered this force signature all to well.

“Luke” he whispered as the strong connection ceased.The sound returned to the cold empty corridor and Ben felt a tapping at his boot as the MSE-6 droid raced past.

 _Droids_ …he mused. This all started with _droids_. A scavenger who convinced a BB unit to show her a map. He remembered her features when they left Takodona on his personal shuttle. Chestnut brown hair, reverently pulled back in three buns, sun kissed skin, freckles across her cheeks under her closed eyes. They reminded Ben of the star chart he desperately was looking for. A connection of shared thoughts as he tried to pull the map from her memories, only to expose his own thoughts and fears. Be he too remembered her thoughts and desires. It had the be the force that was connecting them, but why.

It all started with a droid…


End file.
